Chester's Nuts (are on Fire)

Chester's standing by the open fire
In a dress and thigh-high pantyhose
He's gently farting to the sound of the choir
Beaming with each gust he blows.

But everybody knows
That methane and an open flame
Are a deadly combo to ignite
Fireside farting is a dangerous game
As Chester's gonna learn tonight.

The flames are climbing up his knees
Toward his nuts a-blowin' in the breeze
With each puff of gas his ass emits
The roaring fire is roasting Chester's shit

And so I'm offering this wise advice
To everyone who cuts the cheese
When your gut tells you there's a storm on the rise
Open up a window, please.

[Bridge]

With each puff of gas his ass emits
The roaring fire is roasting Chester's shit

And so I'm offering this wise advice
To all of you when passing gas
When you feel one coming it would really be nice
If you would ventilate your ass.